


My Apricot in the Falling Snow

by CreepingCatalyst



Category: Cousin Matt
Genre: Fruitful Escapades
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-04
Updated: 2013-05-04
Packaged: 2017-12-10 10:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/784858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreepingCatalyst/pseuds/CreepingCatalyst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dramatic love octagon of love. Or is it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Apricot in the Falling Snow

It is a sunny day in 481 South Williams Avenue, Carlisle, Arkansas. Cousin Matt glanced at the overcast sky. Maybe it's going to rain.  
Upon further examination of improvised character, you (the reader), come to an epiphany. Cousin Matt is a badass motherfucker, so he doesn't give one fuck about the whims of lowly weather, let alone any other thing that may or may not exist. What is existence even? Only Cousin Matt knows.  
Our dear friend, Cousin Matt, (despite nary a reason we should be graced with his presence) proceeds to be himself. Cousin Matt. What did you think was going to happen, we were going to meet a new character and follow the story from their perspective or something? That is ridiculous in every conceivable way, especially considering the nature of Cousin Matt's palhonchos. Taking this into account, let us proceed to observe Cousin Matt as he embarks on one of many of his fruitful escapades.  
What kind of fruitful escapade you ask? Well, why don't we see what he's doing. Let's hop into this comfy little bush right here. What? Are you questioning the morality of such actions as these? I would scold you for such blatant ignorance but, alas, our dear Cousin Matt is fast approaching. Come hither.  
Now that we are situated, I will inform you with utmost confidence that what we are doing is completely okay. Even appreciated. Cousin Matt appreciates us.  
It appears Cousin Matt is heading to the grocery store. Let us go.  
Now, twenty minutes later, we watch Cousin Matt checking out with a single apricot. The Apricot. Her beauty is admired by all. A single apricot seems like an unfit reason to go to the store? Not only is this Apricot hot as HELL and important to what little plot this fictional work has, but Cousin Matt is kind of a diva, he kind of does what he wants.  
As Cousin Matt is leaving the store, he sees a plush toy from Finding Nemo. The whale. You know the one. Cousin Matt experiences a strong attraction to this plushie ans wishes he could purchase it. Sadly, he only has twenty dollars in his pocket. The whale is two hundred seventy six dollars and thirty one cents. A great deal for a great product. Crestfallen due to the forced rejection by Cousin Matt's potential lover, Cousin Matt steps outside through the automatic doors. Man those things are cool.  
Any and all attraction to the whale that had embedded itself into Cousin Matt's soul quickly became non-existent, merely a distant memory lost in Cousin Matt's vast mind, as his eyes laid upon the majestic green life form that lay in his wake so suddenly. Grass.  
Cousin Matt has finally found his soul mate, as we can clearly see from our standpoint on the roof.  
The last thing we see before a large bird of mysterious origin descends upon us is Cousin Matt stroking the grass sensually. Maybe a little lip action in there. It was inappropriate and frankly quite lewd to take part in such affectionate gestures in a public place, but the bird blocks our view for 3.4 seconds. Thank God.  
Or so we thought.  
Upon the enigmatic avian's spontaneous disappearance, rather unfortunately, Cousin Matt is killed.  
Whatever spontaneous means forced him into the afterlife may have been kept a secret by our obscured view.  
None the less, our dearest Cousin Matt has passed. We can tell he is dead from the roof because he is dead.  
Dead is dead.  
Cousin Matt's untimely demise was brought to you in part by the fanfiction rule of either sex or death/torture of some sort being required in the content of a fanfiction work.

Fin.


End file.
